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[Mar. 9th, 2009|10:02 am]
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Precis: I respect openness and transparency. I do not speak of mere software engineering, but of life. The fumblings as I learn can benefit others who are too shy to bare the foolishness everyone has. Teachers get scorned with "those who can, do. those who can't teach." But teaching is a higher calling. I thought it was noble to teach in all things. I wanted to be a teacher even in elementary school. Knowing is joy, and I want everyone to share in this. [on edit: corny! blahblahblahblah]

That shared with you, at work, this attitude has been to my team's detriment. For one example, Our team has been called to task because I seem to work on my teammate's cards with him. This is a double standard. From the beginning of the project each group has shared in the design of their systems. Why not mine? Fine. I will forgo openness and not share information. This is what the system rewards. Is this agile? Pairing is openness. Group pairing is penalized. Second example, I share paths my mind takes while I carry out a task. Result? I seem ignorant about my cards, or the entire system of things. Wrong.

This reminds me of college, when I worked in the cognition and memory lab. My professor told me that at first he thought I was an idiot but then he began to see that I was brilliant. It was just that I did not share all the leaps of logic to reach from one part of the conversation to the next.

I'm sick of talking to you people sometimes.
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